I'mmmmm back

I'am back (promise to post soon about company travel adventure from hell) and nearly fell off of my chair when I looked at the amount of comments in my google reader -111 and I have spent the last 45 minutes glancing through and only go to 91. Shit.

I have some family crap to deal with, I am hoping it will resolve and dissipate. My solution before heading to dinner with said family member who might send me to an early grave was popping a happy pill - and what do you know, man that shit works and it works good. I was so relaxed I nearly fell asleep at the table - but it was sucess. No crying, no screaming and no snide remarks. Of course, I had a total meltdown as soon as we got home which just so happened to be the fourth hour after I had taken the dose. I have an appointment scheduled with a psychologist tomorrow at Kaiser, it was either tomorrow or December 2nd and frankly - I am hanging by a thread at this moment who know where I would be by 12/02.

I know alot of my emotion stems from family crap and is combined with missing the girls in this INSANE way and all other things Infertility related. I am sure being in school full time/working full time and doing a career change are all related to my feelings of being overwhelmed.

Deep breath. Deep breath. Deep breath.