Empty Nest

Thinking about re-naming site to empty nest, instead of empty uterus.

We met with RE yesterday who finalized the repronex plan. She answered all of our millions of questions and suggested we go to the pharmacy when we asked about the price of the medication. Initially, the pharmacy tech explained that it would be $100.00 - she had 5 boxes sitting there. We thought OK, so $100.00 for meds + about $350 - $550 a cycle for Ultrasounds (you know - the really fun kind) and another $100 or so for co-pays, additional meds (hcg) and whatever else that may fall our way. So somewhere between $500 - $700 per cycle. I clarified " So, for $100.00 we get all 5 boxes"? No, she replied, it's $100.00 PER BOX. Quick Math - $500 meds, $350- $550 for U/S + $100 for other "stuff"- $900+ guarenteed a cycle - OUCH....... Ok, so how much for the smelling salts so I can get my husband alert and off of the floor?

We did the math pretty quickly, questioning ourselves on why we would spend our money on something that is not guareenteed just so we could make the difference in the life of a child. On the way out the door we revisited the aspect of foster-adoption and adoption in general. A quick history - DH and I have been married for 7 years this coming March and have agreed from the beginning that if we could'nt get pregnant, we would indeed adopt because there are just too many kids out there who need to be loved and raised in a healthy environment. We decided to start the process for Foster-adopting. BTW, we paid $85.00 for this office visit with the RE to discover we will be stopping our treatments, but I'm not bitter.

We broke the news to family and close friends, most are supportive.

Next Wednesday, I will contact our local DPSS for our County and look into the Foster-adopt program. VERY EXCITING.

Repronex injectibles

J and I went for the injectible training. The RN, we will call her Miss A. , was patient, kind and quick. It all seems like a blur to me, things literally went in one ear and out the other. Thank God J was there to capture the important stuff.

Not so worried about receiving the shots or mixing the meds, quite blown away at the side effects. The statistics were unreal.... 30% have multiple births and after I was able to quit obsessing about the possibility of dying from OHSS (Ovarian Hyper stimulation syndrome) from the use of Repronex, things got better.

Today - DH and I go to Dr. H and get our "game plan" together. He will ask her again - for the 30 millionth time why we can't do IVF. REALLY LONG STORY...... He seems to forget and for some reason doesn't want to hear my interpretation of the problem - WHATEVER........ He has is good points (and super -swimmers) so I think I will keep him around a bit longer :-).

That's it for now - will update later

Planning

After much whining, BFF "J" offered to help with injectibles. DH is more than willing but just a little too *excited* about poking me with a needle. Cycle just ended today so I have about 4 weeks of drinking coffee and splurging on all things I've been avoiding since November 2006 such as abundant amounts of sugar.

The holidays are such an emotional time for people who are struggling with becoming parents. It's a holiday centered around children where every Christmas card features a loved one's little one - I would do the exact same thing if I had one. It's just a tough time. Gotta get through it and not be afraid to put the brave face away and put feelings out there.