Saturday, March 28, 2009

Finding myself and the happy pills

I know, I know.... a new blog - I promise I am still working on that. Until then, I have to be quite vague in giving info on this one as I am confident there are folks reading here that are, um -how shall we say - UNINVITED. Yes, soon to be ex-husband's new girlfriend that would be YOU.

Any special shout outs to "Soon to be ex-husbands new girlfriend" - please feel free.

So, what can I share?

My life is wonderful

I have lost an enormous amount of weight

I got the boob lift and reduction I wanted

I am having hot, hot amazing sex

I have a man in my life who is kind, loving, intelligent and just all around plain amazing

I moved out of cubeland, got the amazing corner office, found out I don't have to go to furlough and I still have my job

School is great, kicking ass - making good grades my future's so bright, I gotta wear shades

So for those of you who know me IRL you know the truth, for those of you who know me through the Internet I hope you haven't think I have completely lost my marbles and I promise the "real" writings of Kara will soon be available and for the poor schlep (or any poor schleps in the future) who are dating my ex- please go seek professional psychological help.

Some of the above information may be completely fabricated, slightly exaggerated or untrue.

I am putting together the email list for the new blog - if you are interested and want to keep in touch, please email me -
XOXO - Kara

Tuesday, March 17, 2009

Luck... Hell - I was born Irish

Wish I was here today.

I have loads of single chick crap to lay on you.... breaking hearts, blind date drama and an accidental boyfriend.

Intrigued? I'll post soon, promise. I 'm off to go celebrate my most favorite holiday... by working my tail off and then hoping to catch up with chums at our only Irish bar in town.

Wherever you go, Whatever you do

May the luck of the Irish be always with you.

Happy St. Patrick's Day friends!

Thursday, March 12, 2009

3500 bucks

For $3,500 you can choose one of the following:

A) Take a KICK ASS Euro vacay (Think Virgin Atlantic, upper class - flat bed pod and staying somewhere super she-she)

B) Plastic surgery- My choice would be a lift and reduction though after looking at link I am feeling much better about the current state of my rack.

C) Write a check (TO AN AMAZING ATTORNEY) in the above stated amount for what I like to call "the most expensive way to change your name- EVAH".

I chose door number 3 today and while it was a moment that I think should have a complimentary shot of tequila and yes did take my breath away - it was also a moment of redefining clarity in a sense that is indescribable.

Thank God tomorrow is Yoga day, my body needs a super huge heaping dose of some yoga love.

**** And because I do have a huge heart - I did think to list Philanthropy as an option however I think you have to give gazillions of dough, on a recurring basis, for it to be called Philanthropy and thus should just be spent on moi.

Thursday, March 5, 2009

He may have the house.... I got to keep my sense of humor

or maybe I should label this post...venting, whining and bitching?

There is so much to write about and I don't know where to begin. My thoughts are definitely not organized so I am warning you that this post will be pretty sporadic and all over the map.

I am still searching for a new blog name so I will continue to post here until I can get it together to find *the perfect name*.
Dating... it's bizarre now a days - just plain freaking weird. It's like Drew Barrymore states in the commercial for "He's just not that into you" -because we have advanced in technology, you can now be rejected by 5 different pieces of technology... or something close to that. I have to say that the Internet does create an efficient way to meet people.

The ex factor... I have come to the realization that over the course of our marriage I strived for, struggled and worked my ass of so that we could live a better life, have better insurance coverage, be able to take nice vacations, own a home. Well, if I didn't have to shell out an additional $500 bucks (a month) to keep the ex on my insurance at the County I would be able to take a nice vacation right now. OK, something to look forward to in 6 months - once things are finalized.

I also find it HILARIOUS (ok, being just a little sarcastic) that the ex used to pride and brag about himself being the one who in the relationship that was financially savvy while the home we purchased only had one person qualify for the loan -me, his work truck is in my name and I am paying for the lawyer.

The weather...I know a few of you out there are buried under inches or feet of snow so I will try not to complain too much but when you are used to living on the surface of the sun, it is difficult to still put on a heavy winter coat in March. I know I'll soon be complaining about the heat and how we are breaking 100 degrees but I need it to be just a bit warmer.

Yoga...The very frayed thread I have been hanging by has been strengthened and is renewed each time I practice yoga. It seems to be the only place where my mind is not processing 890 gazillion things and I can find some peace/tranquility and self soothe.
This is my new favorite pose... I don't stick out my tongue though like this chick and my ass is about 10 times the size. It is such a good stretch - Dhanurasana (Bow Pose). Like anything in life, I was not able to do this pose on the first try and I cannot lift nearly as high but if you give yoga a shot, commit to at least a several classes. Yoga is one of those things that adds beneficial aspects to the different layers of our life.

Monday, March 2, 2009

Boost Mobile TV Commercial - Bicycle, Unwronged

I had to share this... how freaking funny is this commercial?

Sunday, March 1, 2009

The walking paradox

The last four weeks.... whew, there were good times and there were bad times and fuck if I can't find my happy pills - they were lost somewhere in the move. There are days where I would just like the option to have one.

I feel like one giant walking paradox. I have friends that remind me of things I said the day my world fell apart and feel as though my perception of the situation has evolved and morphed consequently driving said friends bananas. Here's a helpful hint though - don't analyze me please, just be my friend.

Yoga has been amazing, I have been taking a restorative/relaxation class that focuses on stretching the ligaments and connective tissue, not the muscles. It's an hour and 1/2 long and I have come to live for that class.

I can't believe it's been four weeks, time literally has flown right past me. The first two weeks were a hoot - oh my gosh so much fun. Uh, no - actually, I was on auto pilot and the cylinders were not firing. I was able, thankfully, to pull it together enough to *appear* somewhat normal while at work. Fooled them.

The moving of the crap - I hate moving and moving really sucks. Oh and I love my mom but seriously - returning to a parent's home in this situation should be illegal and is not recommended. Once again, I love my mom but she is hovering big time. So back to moving... I rented a Uhaul (cussing profanity mixed with the ex's name - the ENTIRE TIME) and drove said Uhaul to the house where a few guys I hired were able to take my belongings and place them in the storage unit where I pay 80 bucks a month to have my shit just sit there. I need my own space....

So, the big plan for my next move is to pass the freaking CSET and then get a job in either Orange County or LA. Orange County is my first choice because it is just alot easier to get to and fro to visit family, I love being close to the water and located within that county is one of the prettiest places ever - Laguna Beach. Before it became a show on MTV, it was this sleepy artist community that hosts the Sawdust festival and the Pageant of the Masters. The city has rolling hills easy to run up and down, charming little cafes and brings back a flood of happy child hood memories. The cons are that it is probably one of the priciest places to live and the chances of finding a teaching job at a low income school in that county are slim - unless I want to commute.

Los Angeles will probably be where I end up- I've always loved LA. My parents would take us into the city all the time when we were kids. I lived there for a short time in my 20's and truly love the hustle bustle, the energy, the vibe and it's still close to the water. Job wise, it will offer more of an opportunity. Urghh, the traffic and it's just not as easy to get back to Riverside as quickly as Laguna or OC.

Then there is Monaco - oh, did I forget to mention that it was in the running as well? I watched Samantha Brown on the travel channel last night and decided I really should consider Monaco as a viable option (TALKING OUT OF MY ASS,btw) as it met all of my needs and since Je parle Francais, find french men completely mesmerizing and love french food - it's a win/win/win. Last night, I learned that Monaco is the second smallest country in the world (the vatican is the first, I remember that from traveling Europe), has free cable and the only autocratic country. The entire country is the size of Central Park. Job-- what job?

Things I have learned -

Men still find me attractive - THANK GOD.....I don't know why I ever doubted this - oh maybe it was the low self esteem induced by fertility drug blubber that surrounded my gut and brain. I am sure that the jackass I share a last name with had a little something to do with it, as well.

I exercise, want to look great and feel good - FOR ME.

When one separates/divorces, one should be independently wealthy so the mundane details can be handled by staff, while one can go off on African safari while recovering from botox and then jet off to St. Lucia and get daily one hour massages by hot, young men.

I do not need food to be happy.

I always knew this, so it is less "something I learned" and more like "something I am eternally grateful for" - I have a group of amazing friends.