Tuesday, February 5, 2008

Not so super - super/fat Tuesday

Waking up today I felt a sense of renewal, a big day ahead - the start of big change for our government and the start of more democrat success', a day to pig out on all the red meat my little heart can handle before fasting and no meat tomorrow or Friday and the day we officially get approved by the agency.

I did pig out on the best taco in town (and only ate 1 - ok, this is big guys - I can usually put away 2 or 3), checked the internet periodically throughout the day to see who was winning which state and waited patiently for the phone to ring. Finally, at 3:00 I placed a phone call and then sent an email to follow up on the phone call to find out what was going on. I know they don't know otherwise they would have called me, right? The logical side ( or rather what is left of my logic through this IF experience) says - remember what "Y" stated in the last phone conversation, the couple last week, who was supposed to find out about thier results last Tuesday did not find out until Friday. The emotional side is screaming why why why- can't SOMETHING go our way, or smoothly with this process. So, here I go - another lesson in patience ( not my strong suit) and I have plenty to keep my mind busy - beside the chatter in my brain.

There are so many ways this fost/adopt process replicates the ttc process and frankly, control freak Kara is at her wits end. Ok, sorry for talking in 3rd person, but really - I'm so friggin tired of this - sometimes, times like today - I just want to scream. As I searched for the Scream painting I came across a version I had never seen and had to laugh. Oh, sweet laughter - where have you been my friend. I feel better already.

Off I go, to go be busy now with homework and a smile.


Io said...

Oh, I am so jealous of both the taco and the ability to check the internet all day. We had a board meeting at work so I was away from my desk and didn't get home until 8pm. Now I am home watching C-SPAN and am much happier.

Jules said...

That blows. Stupid people. Can't commit to Tuesday? Then don't offer false hope.

katd said...

The wait is excruciating. I'm sorry you're still waiting. I hope you hear something very soon.

Amanda said...

Found you via a link on someone else's fost-adopt blog... anyway, I am so with you on the control freak thing - it's been the hardest part of the process. Hope you get the approval soon!