Monday, January 26, 2009

School, snacks and the sucky economy

I am so HAPPY to be sitting in front of the TV watching House, counting down the minutes until 24 starts. I am also incredibly HAPPY to not have to *physically* attend school and am THRILLED to participate via the virtual classroom. Spring I starts next Monday and I will be happily attending in the comfort of my PJ's while not wearing a bra. HALLELUJAH!!! Life is grand.

Speaking of school - with the light in the tunnel shining brighter each day I am becoming increasingly and acutely aware of the approaching feeling of burnout. I went full force through my B.S. program (while doing IF treatments and getting a promotion at work) and look forward to the day where I won't have some project hanging over my head or choreographing our social schedule around impending school deadlines.

While I look forward to being released from the ball and chain that is a Master's program I am not looking forward to paying the student loans *YUCK* or continuing to take the CSET (again and again and again). I find out the results a week from today and while I would love to think optimistically I have to remain a realist.

In other important news, I have found my new favorite snack from Trader Joe's. Edamame Hummus and Pita sea salt crackers. I promise, it's the snack that delivers - hearty, salty with the perfect amount of sweet but all savory goodness and fairly healthy. Ok, there are worse things - I could be chewing on some flaming hot funions.

I know - this has been riveting. Remember my whole Blood and bones, blah, blah, blah post about warning you to brace yourselves as I was going to be going so much deeper into the bowels of my brain. Yeah - well here it comes...

While our little world is comfortable, happy and quite pleasant, I am overwhelmed with much survivor's guilt knowing that at any moment now my parents business will close (unless there is a miracle lurking around the corner), my brother who is employed at said business will loose his job, I have friends and relatives who are worried about loosing their jobs in completely different industries. We revisited the thought of restarting fertility treatments using money we have locked up in savings and then realized what if we need to loan it to a family member or (YIKES) even to save our own mortgage. Fertility treatments seem totally and completely frivoulous, almost like a vacation in the Caribbean.

I never thought I would compare Chlomid to the Caymen Islands.


lassie said...

I had trouble with my teacher tests too. Also, my scores on the GRE zapped my self esteem for at least 6 months. Thank goodness those scores never reflect the ability of a teacher except to give an awareness of what our students go through each day.

So sorry that given the state of the economy your perspective of IF treatments got skewed. This economy is scary, I agree.

Barb said...

ugh sweetie. But the food? mmmm.

melissa said...

It is really hard to think about spending so much money on infertility or adoption at times like this. I wrestle with that a lot. I hate that there is a pricetag attached to my child.
Thanks for the recommendation hummus, it sounds amazing and might have to go get some today!