Sunday, February 15, 2009

My Funny Valentine

The video I like to call - Two adorable kiddos, one sweetie of a mom and one very annoyed brother. I was able to catch a few moments before the game started and taped the worlds cutest kids. Since we purchased the tickets, I have spent the last week humming the brain glue that is "Sweet Georgia Brown".

After I went and got some food and drinks, I attempted to get a photo with my main man, nephew - Cole. Great photo of Auntie Kara, don't ask what Cole is trying to do.

My mom attempted another one and cut off the bottom portion of his face.

By this time, my niece Ella wanted in on this little game we call * How many times will it take to get a good pic*. Notice Auntie trying not to spill her vino? I do love, love, love this photo.

I also love this photo as well.
The turn out was really good, lots of various groups of children - from Brownies and Boy Scouts to a group of cheerleaders and children struggling with physical disabilities. I LOVE the interaction the Globetrotters have with the audience members, specifically - the kids. I think we counted at least 10 kids that got to participate and the game offered just enough adult humor to keep us entertained.

All in all, my first solo V-day in ten years was much better than I expected. I was able to laugh and smile - I think this is a sign of good things to come.

Speaking of life - I think I am gaining more and more stability with each day that passes. Alot of my current feelings remind me of the time we received our diagnosis of Unexplained Infertility. It was a batch of rotten lemons and I tried so hard to make some sort of semblance of lemonade. As I squeeze this batch it seems more lemon juice goes into my eyes leaving a stinging impression.
Some people may have felt I was sweeping things under the rug or not embracing the moment. I think that one can (in this and many situations) get overwhelmed with every detail of a situation, letting it eat away at the core of who you are and while the depth and seriousness is not lost on me - I choose happiness over sadness every day.

Sure, this situation sucks and *THIS* is not what I had envisioned my life to turn out to be, but I remember that I dealt with/processed/resolved (and continue to work on) my feelings regarding infertility and I will get through this. God willing - with grace and humor. I am in control of life and I have decisions to make - for this I am grateful and thankful.

Not that I can even begin to imagine dating or another relationship - it's just too early. I do imagine wondering how I will explain my infertility issues and all of its intricacies to the next person I am with. Then a fleeting thought occurs, perhaps D and I just weren't a good match and what if? What if I get PG the old fashioned way?

A girl can dream- right?


Lassie said...

"get overwhelmed with every detail of a situation, letting it eat away at the core of who you are" Ahhh, what a great way to describe the craziness that burns in the brain! Thanks for putting words to something we all experience.

Your family looks terrific! I'm glad you had a good V day. There are good things to come and they will be even sweeter because you are open to the possibilities...

kate said...

Dude. I am so jealous of your VD. It looks like a ton of fun! We stayed in, boring style, with me chained to the stove, scratch baking a lemon tart that came out horribly ( Wish I had read the comments first...

And for GOD's SAKE, don't spill the wine! Geez! I mean, kiddos are cool and everything, but don't come between Auntie and her wine!!! (This, I think, is why- if, in fact, it is true- that god has decided to curse my uterus. The wine, she is important...).

And I think that we all handle things differently. I mean, just because you're not raving from the rooftops like a scorned woman doesn't mean that you don't have anger, but I think you're doing the right thing, which is to choose happiness. It's the right thing for you, and I hope that no one is in any seriousness criticizing the way you are handling things. You amaze me, because I deal by crying and yelling and "poor me"-ing, which never has a good outcome, but you seem so focused. It's nice to see.

And yes. Perhaps you just weren't a great match and you'll get it the old fashioned way. That would be so wonderful. So, yes, let's keep sending that out into the universe- happiness, gratefulness, and healing thoughts!

Jules said...

I agree with Kate. Put it out there--you never know what you might get. :)

Ally said...

Kara, it looks like you had a fabulous Valentine's Day! :)

As for comments on how you're handling all of this, I agree completely with Kate. We all process things differently and go through life experiences differently. Where is the manual for how to do all of this "correctly" anyway? I have yet to see one in the stores and I am a voracious reader! Jeez, people. Lighten up and lay off.

Do things your own way in your own time, friend. There is no wrong way to work your way through your feelings.

That being said, I sincerely hope you are surrounded with love and support as you manage all of this. I know it's not easy.

And who knows what the future holds? I like your outlook. I'll be keeping my fingers crossed for you!

Ally said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Emily said...

You look GORGEOUS! You look like a woman with a new lease on life! I'm so happy you had a good day. I promise I'm still going to call you but the migraine fairy has moved in and I am going nuts.

You are rockin' it girl. I have a feeling that your fairytale is going to have a happy ending! xoxo

Alex said...

Great pics!! And your niece and nephew are adorable!!

Emily (Apron Strings) said...

gorgeous gorgeous kids ... beautiful auntie! glad you survived V-day and with perfect companions to bat!

and you're totally right about not envisioning your life to be like this ... and you will survive (cue gloria gaynor).

Personally, I think you should change the name of your blog to "Becoming Apparent"

Hugs and Love ...

Cara said...

Those pics are of a radiant woman who knows her connection with kids. No doubt- you will know what to say when the time arises.


Amanda said...

Great pics, thanks for sharing.

And yes you can (AND SHOULD!!) dream :-)