The last four weeks.... whew, there were good times and there were bad times and fuck if I can't find my happy pills - they were lost somewhere in the move. There are days where I would just like the option to have one.
I feel like one giant walking paradox. I have friends that remind me of things I said the day my world fell apart and feel as though my perception of the situation has evolved and morphed consequently driving said friends bananas. Here's a helpful hint though - don't analyze me please, just be my friend.
Yoga has been amazing, I have been taking a restorative/relaxation class that focuses on stretching the ligaments and connective tissue, not the muscles. It's an hour and 1/2 long and I have come to live for that class.
I can't believe it's been four weeks, time literally has flown right past me. The first two weeks were a hoot - oh my gosh so much fun. Uh, no - actually, I was on auto pilot and the cylinders were not firing. I was able, thankfully, to pull it together enough to *appear* somewhat normal while at work. Fooled them.
The moving of the crap - I hate moving and moving really sucks. Oh and I love my mom but seriously - returning to a parent's home in this situation should be illegal and is not recommended. Once again, I love my mom but she is hovering big time. So back to moving... I rented a Uhaul (cussing profanity mixed with the ex's name - the ENTIRE TIME) and drove said Uhaul to the house where a few guys I hired were able to take my belongings and place them in the storage unit where I pay 80 bucks a month to have my shit just sit there. I need my own space....
So, the big plan for my next move is to pass the freaking CSET and then get a job in either Orange County or LA. Orange County is my first choice because it is just alot easier to get to and fro to visit family, I love being close to the water and located within that county is one of the prettiest places ever - Laguna Beach. Before it became a show on MTV, it was this sleepy artist community that hosts the Sawdust festival and the Pageant of the Masters. The city has rolling hills easy to run up and down, charming little cafes and brings back a flood of happy child hood memories. The cons are that it is probably one of the priciest places to live and the chances of finding a teaching job at a low income school in that county are slim - unless I want to commute.
Los Angeles will probably be where I end up- I've always loved LA. My parents would take us into the city all the time when we were kids. I lived there for a short time in my 20's and truly love the hustle bustle, the energy, the vibe and it's still close to the water. Job wise, it will offer more of an opportunity. Urghh, the traffic and it's just not as easy to get back to Riverside as quickly as Laguna or OC.
Then there is Monaco - oh, did I forget to mention that it was in the running as well? I watched Samantha Brown on the travel channel last night and decided I really should consider Monaco as a viable option (TALKING OUT OF MY ASS,btw) as it met all of my needs and since Je parle Francais, find french men completely mesmerizing and love french food - it's a win/win/win. Last night, I learned that Monaco is the second smallest country in the world (the vatican is the first, I remember that from traveling Europe), has free cable and the only autocratic country. The entire country is the size of Central Park. Job-- what job?
Things I have learned -
Men still find me attractive - THANK GOD.....I don't know why I ever doubted this - oh maybe it was the low self esteem induced by fertility drug blubber that surrounded my gut and brain. I am sure that the jackass I share a last name with had a little something to do with it, as well.
I exercise, want to look great and feel good - FOR ME.
When one separates/divorces, one should be independently wealthy so the mundane details can be handled by staff, while one can go off on African safari while recovering from botox and then jet off to St. Lucia and get daily one hour massages by hot, young men.
I do not need food to be happy.
I always knew this, so it is less "something I learned" and more like "something I am eternally grateful for" - I have a group of amazing friends.