At 1:00 PM today, I discovered I was the VERY LAST of my family to find out that my dad was taken to the emergency room for chest pains due to high blood pressure (and a Diet Pepsi habit) was given an EKG, treadmill test etc. He is fine.
Those defining moments make me love and want to strangle my beloved family all at the same time. Thoughts crisscross my mind in lightening speed - Why wasn't I the first one called, why didn't this person call me, why didn't that person call me. Ok, if I leave now, I can be back in time for my 2:30 meeting and as the daughter of my Type A father I know he would be disappointed if I somehow failed short at work, to be by his side. I spoke with my brother who assured me that everything was fine and I should stay at work. Being the big sister that I am, I threatened that if something bad were to happen and I wasn't there he would surely pay for it for the rest of his life and next time he needs to call me as soon as he finds out. Urghhh, brothers - I love him but sometimes he just drives me friggin nuts.
Just when I thought the roller coaster has slowed down for today I phoned D at 4:00 PM to let him know I was leaving work and on my way to school and he stated that he was on the other line with our social worker. Immediately, my heart sank as I prepared myself to not burst out in tears. Past experiences with IF prohibit and have taken away my initial reaction of news of us becoming parents as being "good", which sucks, but it is what it is.
D stated that L (our social worker) has a possible placement and she would call as soon as she had ANY news. Time passed, for what seemed like a millennium and I arrived at school. My cell completely dead because I forgot to put it on the charger last night so I beg my kind classmate to borrow her phone and called D for an update who said that he would have L give me a call on my classmates phone. L calls and says, they are two girls, ages 2 and 7 and need to be placed immediately. The back story is that the current foster mom is moving to LA and the girls cannot be taken out of the County, we need to make a decision ASAP. I advise her to call D in five minutes and he will have our answer, after we discuss. I call D and in about 10 seconds we agree the deal is sealed and we need to move forward. He stated that his heart and head both scream YES and I have nothing nearly coherent or prophetic, I just now I want to be a mom and yes I'll take them. L calls D, receives our answer and states that we need to cool our heels. The County (yes, also my Employer) has another family . Oh YEAH, bring it on. I 'm somewhat competitive and now that I now there is another family, part of me feels like - well I'm sure they are wanting a child/children as well and other part is begging God to give us a break and let us become parents.
So my request/shout out/prayer to the big guy upstairs, goes a little something like this...
A year ago this week, you needed another angel and you chose mine. I didn't understand why it happened but now I can see that our path to parenthood is going to be unique, yet great.
I know you want me to a parent because you have provided me with such amazing parents to learn from and a passion for parenthood that has never faltered. If these two sweet peas are meant to be ours, I promise to love them, provide for them, encourage them and teach them to become strong women with values and ethics.
Thanks - Kara
PS - Thanks for watching over my Dad today, things could have been alot worse.
NOTE- Our parents and family do not know about this news, we plan to break the news once we have specific + good news. Therefore, as soon as we have news I will call them and then post here. If you are family and are reading this PLEASE do not say ANYTHING to our parents.
I guess this is a way to find out who exactly is reading our blog.