Wednesday, June 11, 2008

Bummed and deflated

Our agency just called to let us know that birth parents will get 12 hour unmonitored visits -starting this Sunday. Good for them (did you pick up on my sarcasm?). When I sounded disappointed (at the County for not doing a thorough investigation) and asked for additional information regarding the court date in July as well as the progress the birth parents were making toward their plan, the agency contact picked up on my feelings of frustration and her response was "Well, we did recommend respite care for you to complete before a placement".

WHAT - is the word I wanted to scream into the phone. I calmly and gently reminded them that no, indeed that was not a recommendation as we had a discussion with "L" another agency contact and reminded her that we are actively involved in my niece and nephews lives on a daily basis with many over night visits so there was no need for us to complete respite care. I cannot articulate how frustrated I'm at this very moment.

Part of me, wants the birth parents to get their shit together so I don't become further attached to these two little darlings the other part of me wants to run down the street screaming.

Torn, bummed, deflated and feeling a bit depressed.

I knew this could happen but I had no idea how I was going to handle it and know I just want to be done. I have to remember that we are making a positive and indelible mark on their life.

6 comments:

Barb said...

I'm so sorry Kara. I wish it was easier. Why does it all have to be so damn hard????

I'm so scared of this all myself... so scared that I haven't even started the process..

kate said...

Ugh. Bureaucracy always makes me so angry. How dare they suggest that your frustration or questions were somehow due to a lack of respite training or other such nonsense. It makes me want to call that lady right now and give her a piece of my mind.

I'm just so sorry this is happening. What a bunch of shit.

Io said...

Oh Kara, I'm so sorry. I wish there were some way to make this easier.

Emily (Apron Strings) said...

Oh Kara ... I wish I could make it easier for you. You are such an incredible person and I can only imagine how hard it is NOT to get attached to the girls. Just know I'm praying for you ...

PJ said...

So frustrating! I hope better times are ahead.

Kara said...

Thanks guys - I totally appreciate the comments, it's been an experience and thankfully my 2 glasses of red wine ( Kate + Io, your wine will get to you sometime before the end of the year - I promise) took the edge off of things.