Do you ever have one of those weeks were you wonder "what else, seriously - what else?" Monday I discovered I did not pass even one set of the three set CSET test and I'm not surprised. I was not committed to any particular study regimen/program and plan to re-take it in September. These past three weeks have not been kind to my study schedule and I've turned into a horrible student, severely disappointed in myself. I can only hope that I get a passing grade and because it's grad school, the lowest I can get is a "B", which will be a miracle. Yesterday we received news from the County Social worker regarding the phone calls and 12 hour visitation. Lastly, we received news that a family member's pooch has an inoperable cancerous tumor and are so saddened for them. We are huge dog lovers, we have two furry kids of our very own. Oh, did I mention my Grandfather hung up on me? He has dementia and is going through some pretty big life changes.
Yes, reunification is anticipated and though we knew this could happen I don't think I could ever be prepared to say Good bye. The hurt reminds me of a combination of the crushing heart-ache produced by the break up of my very first "real" boyfriend and the pain I felt when my Grandmother passed away. The agency still does not have a court day but they are thinking it is going to be 6 months from the day of removal which would be July 2nd. I can only hope the next 2 weeks fly right by. I need to move on. I'm numb.
We received this information at our weekly meeting today with our agency and were told that overnight visits will soon follow the 12 hour visit that will start Sunday. The court will more than likely not be concerned about the mom and dad not having a job because - hey - this is why we have Welfare. The cycle of poverty is strong in this family and here was our chance to put a break the cycle. My favorite part of the conversation was when they stated that our "allegations of neglect were unfounded". This is from the results of the 12 hour visit that initiated a call to the emergency DPSS hotline number. Our agency also asked us ( kind of in a snotty way, I might add) that all complaints must go through the agency. Whatever....
I had the lovely privilege of enrolling little girl in the WIC program, a humbling experience. There were two really nice ladies sprinkled through the crackheads. I was called out of the meeting to find (this is actually quite funny) a group of employees standing around the front desk who all had a million County retirement questions (the team I work for) as they had been given the 411 from the chick who interviewed/enrolled little girl and had to get my job information.
I've learned volumes from this experience both about the system and myself. I've found deep levels of disappointment which has led to sadness, regarding both.
Your recent comments have gotten me through these tough times and I'm so thankful for you all. I'm turning off comments, I need a break to get over feeling sorry for myself, get my shit together and pick up the pieces of this crumbled mess. D and I are working on our new game plan.