Sunday, February 1, 2009

One month

A month from today I will delete this blog.

I am no longer looking to become a parent as d has decided to no longer want to be in our marriage. He states that he is filing for divorce tomorrow. No shit.

Things I know... I am a beautiful, humorous, smart woman that will be able to love again (one day, probably not in the near future though) and while the curse of IF was not the exact cause of the end of our union I know that it certainly didn't help. I can't help but wonder what path we would be on right now if we were able to conceive or keep the girls.

There isn't a whole lot I want to talk about publicly however, if you want to keep in touch please email me so I can let you know where my next bloggy brilliance will take place. I will be deleting this blog, one month from today.

It's been a journey, I thank you all for your friendship, love and peace-filled thoughts. I count each of you as blessings and for this I am eternally grateful our paths have crossed.

31 comments:

Heather said...

I'm so very sorry.

I'm glad you've been able to hang on to what is wonderfully true of you through all of this.

Soapchick said...

Oh Kara I am so sorry. I don't comment much, I've been more of a lurker, but I have enjoyed reading about your strength and perseverance and courage to take the path of deciding not to have children. I am so verry sorry, but you are correct - you are a beautiful, strong, brilliant person and you will be okay. I know it will be tough for awhile, but you will survive and eventually thrive. soapchick@comcast.net

kate said...

My dear Kara- You already know what I think but I wanted to publicly say how awesome you are and what a DICK D is being and how sorry I am that this all came to pass in this less-perfect-than-you-deserve way. You are the shiznit, and a most fabulous friend and YES. You will be able to love again.

Infertility is a dirty whore. I'm sending red hot pokers her way, too.

Reggie Boppy said...

Kara,
I'm so very sorry to hear this news. You do not deserve this. I hope that you keep in touch. Many many hugs coming your way...

lassie said...

I'm so sorry this is happening. I'm glad you are able to keep things in perspective. This must be such a raw time for you. During infertility we almost ended things. Its just so difficult to be partners when life keeps throwing you curve balls and you're both in survival mode.

Take care of yourself.

I'm looking forward to hearing about your phoenix moment in your next bloggy brillance.

lassie@eggsbenedictarnold.com

Lollipop Goldstein said...

I am so incredibly sorry, Kara. That is terrible news. Please let us know if there is anything we can do to help.

I would like to hear about your new space when it happens (and let me know if you want me to put it in LFCA): thetowncriers@gmail.com

melissa said...

This hurts my heart, I am so sorry. Things like this should never happen. I hope that someday you will be come a parent, single or married, either way I hope the dream of having a child comes true for you.
You are in my prayers.

annacyclopedia said...

Oh, shit, Kara. I'm so sorry. I will be keeping you in my thoughts and prayers as you negotiate this unwelcome and painful transition. I know you are strong and powerful, and I know you have the courage you will need to work through this. Hang in there, sweetie.

loribeth said...

Here from Lost & Found. I don't "know" you, but I am so sorry to hear this. (((HUGS)))

Wishing 4 One said...

Its time for you take a trip on over here to North Africa girl!

Thinking of you and will of course be in touch and following you to your next work of brilliance!

HUGS from Cairo xxoxoxoxoxo

mlg- believe N miracles said...

Here from Lost & Found, I am so sorry. You will find love again, I am so sorry you have to deal with this.

noswimmers said...

I am so, SO sorry.
((HUGS))

projectkjetil said...

Got here from LFCA to offer support. So sorry that D has decided to file for divorce.

Wishing the best for you, for new beginnings and much brilliance in your future.

Duck said...

Oh Kara,
I can only imagine how difficult this must be for you right now. You are right, you're a damn good catch, and I'm so sorry that your journey is over with your husband. I wish I could be more of a help, and if you need someone that you simply just need to type and rant and rave, please email me speculumstories@gmail.com.

Take care

Ally said...

Kara, I am so, so sorry. I am sorry this is happening-you deserve so much more. You deserve someone who adores you and appreciates all the wonderfulness that is you. I wish I had better words or more ways to help. You are in my thoughts, friend. Much love and peace to you.

nycphoenix said...

Delurking to say I am so sorry and I hope to hear from you in another incarnation

nycohoenix said...

nycphoenix again: email me anytime at twonycmoms@aol.com

(hopeful email that is to deciminated to cancel now; we are child free)

Delenn said...

Here from LFCA. I am so sorry that you are going through this.

JamieD said...

I am so sorry and I am thinking of you during this difficult, stupid time.

You keep telling yourself you are brilliant, beautiful and strong. You deserve better.

Alex said...

Oh my gosh...I'm sorry to hear you're going through this. I've been lurking here for ages and am not sure if I ever commented or not. But I enjoyed following along with your journey. I just didn't expect it to go this way.

I hope things work out for the best. Please take care of yourself.

Alex

WiseGuy said...

Here from LFCA...

I am so sorry that your marriage is about to end. I know that these words are just cold comfort, but I hope that you rediscover love again. Praying for you!

battynurse said...

Here from LFCA. I'm so sorry. Hugs to you.

Barb said...

Oh my gosh Kara... SO sorry my sweet girl. Lots of hugs and strength to you, and you are absolutely correct in your estimation of yourself. Please keep your brilliant self around.
blue105 at yahoo.
xo

Brie said...

I'm really sorry to hear this news :( I hope you find nothing short of divinity in the next fresh chapter of your life. xo Brie

Cara said...

Kara - to know those things about yourself as you start again is amazing. Good luck - I'll be thinking of you on 3.3.09

Dora said...

Kara, this sucks big time. What an ass he is. You're awesome. Wish I had words to really make you feel better.

christina(apronstrings) said...

that sucks. i am so sorry. yeah, IF beats down even the best relationships.

Amanda said...

Holy crap, Kara... we don't "know" each other, but I am really, really sorry to see this post. I am glad that you are able to still be positive about yourself and I wish I could do something to help!

Please email me if you start up again someplace new. Have really enjoyed reading your blog - your voices is one of my most favorite :-)

ladyjane1202@yahoo.com

Bridget McGee said...

Sorry to hear that. I'm sure things are hard. If he doesn't want to be with you though, then he doesn't deserve you. And I'm sure you will find someone who does. You have my email, if you ever feel like taking a trip up north for more wine tasting, I'm always available.

webkinzfan said...

I found your blog today through
Bri's blog. I just want to say that I'm sorry that your going through this hard time. I wish I could say or do something to help, but, unfortunatly, there's not much I can do except to tell you how my heart aches to hear of your sorrow. There must be something about this time of year. One of my closest friends recently separated from her husband and I miss her and her three daughters so much. I'm so glad that I could post this comment. I wish my girl friend had a blog so at least I could know how she's doing.

Hugs for you, sweet Kara.

Tracy

Parenthood For Me said...

I just wanted to say I am sorry about your marriage. But, your attitude and belief in yourself is amazing. You do have a whole new and exciting life ahead.